The Fog has Lifted

In the past few weeks there have been a number days where the fog was so thick and heavy it was as if our world had been wrapped up in a woolly blanket. It was treacherous driving on the highway with visibility so limited and the road slick with ice crystals. But WOW, did it create a beautiful landscape!

You see the cold and fog created hoar frost. A thick covering of white feathery crystals covered our corner of the world. Even the extension cord used to plug in the car at night looked beautiful. One is tempted to take pictures of everything...anything! From a row of willows lining the street, a barbed wire fence to the ugly old antenna on my truck, it all looks different, almost magical. Of course as it warms up the frost falls away from the objects, its wisps of ice floating to the ground. But the magic, although no longer visible, is imprinted your mind. Even today, though the sun has risen to reveal a clear crisp winter's day, I can still image the beauty of the ice covered world and an extraordinary antenna.

I think that the fog is like being wrapped in a fresh understanding of the sacred nature and holiness of all creation. I listen to people who divide and hate, discriminate and denigrate everything and everyone who isn't like them: doesn't believe the same, or look the same, has different values, different circumstances or lives with another truth. Living with hate and distrust and anger colours the world dark, fills it with grey and lifelessness. But when someone finally understands that people don't have to be "just like me" to enrich our world it is like they get wrapped in that blanket and their world is touched by magic. Suddenly, there is indescribable beauty, everyone is precious and valuable and the world is filled with hope! And even when the newness of that knowledge is pushed to the background by the seeming harshness of the daily grind the truth is that the image is forever imprinted in our minds.

And the image is one of a just world, where every person is valued, where diversity is understood as the rich fabric and sacred gift of the Giver of Life. I can see it in my mind's eye and that vision has rocked my world, forever changing and shaping me as I work to recreate that beauty. And I know that as long as I draw breath I will work toward an understanding that we are human "family" and that the world is our home. I believe this is our greatest calling, to love one another and to care for our planet for these two are our only future.

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. (MLK)

A Clear Winter's Day

I don't do this as often as I think I should or as often as I would like to. Life is so darned busy. Even when we make a concerted effort to slow down and step back a bit, it always seems like there is too much to do. I haven't figured out how to capture additional time in the day but if I do I will let you know.

I have however decided that it is important to capture "moments." Life is soooo short. Each time I consider that reality I am struck by how much I want(ed) to do in my life and how much remains yet undone!

We constantly explore notions of relocation. What we really want, both of us, is too slow down, taste life a bit more. We have wondered that if we moved further into the sticks if we would be less busy. Would we take more time to "smell the roses," take photos of them. We laugh because we imagine we would find a way to become "members" of something or other. We are activists. That's how we met!

But I think we need slow down and connect with our life. Each fast aspect of our life is necessary for other fast aspects to happen, and we have been fooled into thinking we need, or even must, be fast and have what the ‘fast life’ gives us. I do want to do the last third of my life differently. There is no going back. The timer does cannot be flipped back and forth like it can when you are playing pictionary. Once that sand starts falling it doesn't stop until it's all over. Slow is not about doing everything at a snail's pace; it's about working, playing and living better by doing everything at the right speed. The list of things I want to do far exceeds the time I have left. I feel a need to get on with it.

I want to live in an old beautiful farmhouse. Out away from town where we have a big garden and are more self sustaining than externally employed.

I want to have a horse and my own pack of dogs. I'm not a cat lover but we will probably need a couple in the barn.

I want a functional, heated shop that I can work in all year round. Build stuff. I LOVE tools!

I want to take pictures, long walks with my love and our pack.

I want him to have a big farmhouse Kitchen to make jams and pickles and explore his organic gardening. I want to take a month and go here, and then another month and go there and follow our hearts as long as we can keep filling the gas tank.

I want to sleep in every morning, nap when I feel like it and work til 2 am if my heart desires.

I want to pick blueberries and watch smoke rise up from the chimney and drink coffee in the sun room.

Go canoeing with my love and the dogs....in the silent early morning with mist rising on the river.

Spend time with my son and my grandchildren some day in the future.

This is not a huge list. None of these things are even expensive or unreasonably to consider. Truth is this old southern "Alberta" queer is more than ready to try living life differently. I really believe that we need to hit the dusty trail to make it happen. Here there is too much of our past ways and life to fall back into. We need a fresh and new start. Those "moments" I wanted to capture are out there. I am becoming less and less prepared to give them up.

But just so I am perfectly clear....Will I ever stop caring about and working for justice? Not likely. It's in my soul! I am who my God created me to be so as long as I have breath I suspect I will work toward a just and merciful world every time the opportunity arises.

A New Year for an Old Queer

It didn't hurt my feelings to usher 2009 out the door. It was a year that changed my life in so many ways. But after all is said and done, we move on. I ushered in this next 365 day calendar with little fanfare choosing to spend it with my partner, snuggled into our easy chairs watching a couple movies and sipping tea. Even so, we entered 2010 hopeful.

My hopes are simple ones:

Each human being will know peace and personal freedom.

Adequate shelter and food for everyone.

All people are treated with dignity and respect.

Every child experience safety, love and the opportunity for education and health.

Diversity is valued but hate and injustice is not tolerated.

Are these things so complicated, so difficult and complex? Why is it that these simple things are not already part of our experience. Why is it so difficult for us to live together? I cannot imagine hurting people, taking life, assuming that what belongs to others is mine to take or presuming that my life, my beliefs, my anything! is more important than that of another.

And so I wonder if this is the year we will finally get it.